I’m holding myself together. Some days it’s a chore, others a privilege. I thought that if I were strong enough to get here I’m strong enough to continue. It’s not like this is the bottom of my well. I’m standing on ground. It may be shaky and it may be unstable but I am standing. I am not kneeling or begging. I’m in love with the way that what i tell myself over and over is who i become. It’s my choice today, not my chore.
When you love someone… truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt—you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it’s crippling—like having your heart carved out. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough… but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?’
filled with all the mysteries of the universe. All the past and future knowledge in one huge library filled with people observing and protecting it. Also the library is located on quite a large amount of beautiful earth, gotta rest the eyes once in a while right?